I Blew It!

Nov 23, 2016
Posted by admin

I am- where im meant to be

A few days ago, I created my first three promo videos for various people I knew.

The feedback for them all was amazing.

And I was reminded of how SURE I was that I was meant to do this. And I was fucking good at it.

Have you ever felt like that?

When you haven’t actually done something before, but you KNOW that when you do, you’ll be the best at it?

And I don’t just mean really good, or one of the best – I mean The. Best.

That’s how I felt about being a creative director. I knew that my imagination, which has landed me in shit sooooo many times before, was actually my gift.

The way I see things playing out, and understand who people are at their core…

All of that came together in this one purpose.

But I’m getting side tracked…

So I knew I would be shit hot at creating promotional videos and awesome photo shoots.

And when I made my first ever video – I proved myself right.

I know I’ll probably look back on that video and be all like, “Jesus, that was when I first started out – I’ve come a long way since then”. But for now, I’m ELATED by what I’ve done.

Right up until the point that I blew it.

You see, shortly after I created those videos, I was reached out to by somebody who I have the deepest amount of respect for.

And she asked me to pitch her on some ideas I’d had for promotional videos.

I sent her some ideas.

She loved them.

She asked me what I wanted for them.

I told her.

And she said no.

Dead simple. No explanation. Just thank you, but no thank you.

And I spent about 2 minutes reeling from that.

And let me tell you,

A couple of months ago, when I was still a business mentor and copywriter, I would have been DEVASTATED.

It probably would have sent me into an uncontrollable spiral of self loathing, “I’m not worthy” cry me a fucking river and tell everyone I don’t want to play anymore journey.

Then I would rally, and come back round again but it would take me aaaaages to get back to where I was, confidence wise.

In fact, a year or so ago, I remember something like this happening.

I’d put out my first 5 figure package. I was nervous as hell.

And then 2 hours after I put the sales page up, I got a booking for a discovery call. The application wa amazing. This guy was absolutely perfect for what I was offering and I couldn’t WAIT to get on the call.

Then the day of the call came around, and he was a no show. I emailed. Nothing.

I was so gutted.  I was a little bitch about the whole thing.

Looking back, I think that the guy was actually fake. My coach at the time had this habit of making people up and pretending that they were going to sign up with me. It was very strange, but anyway, it was what it was.

And this time?

I did all of that, but I did it for two minutes. Possibly less. Seemed like a long time, but I’m a drama queen so what do I know?

Here’s what I did instead:

Thought about the reasons this had happened.

The truth?

I’d probably priced myself out of the game.

I’ve been concentrating on “being the future version of myself” a lot lately and just acting as if I was already there.

But I’m actually not world renowned just yet.

The next thing I thought of was…

This really is brand new to me. It’s not like I’ve been in this industry forever and I know what’s good, average, middle of the road, or whatever.

I don’t really know WHAT speed to go at with this.

And then I thought, hmmm… I probably reacted to a situation, out of excitement, and a little bit of fear (fear that if I fucked around for too long, I’d seem weak or indecisive and blow my chance).

What I should have done is taken my time, and been absolutely certain of my pitch before I sent it off.

So now what?

I mean, you’re probably only going to get opportunities like that once in a lifetime, right?


We create our own opportunities.

And as pissed with myself as I am, I also still have that certainty that I am ABSOLUTELY going to be world renowned for being the best Creative Director for Global Personality brands in the world.

So this set back, isn’t me blowing it.

It’s some very important lessons:

Don’t rush into things – ESPECIALLY when your heart is pounding like mad. That’s when it’s time to take a breath and get centred.

Check in with your gut to make sure you’re ready and prepared before you do ANYTHING.

And when you get knocked back, tap into how you’re feeling. If you’re in absolute despair

My heart definitely sank when I read the message. But not for the reasons you might think.

Firstly, I saw this as an opportunity to work with somebody who’s a brilliant creative. The way she thinks and acts is explosive. I knew that working with her on creative projects like this would give me the chance to create some mind blowing content that would change the way people thought about using promotional videos.

Secondly, I felt like this would be a great way to surround myself with the kind of people who would help ME to be the highest version of myself (you’re the average of the five closest people to you, right?).

And lastly, there was the opportunity to work with a team of creatives on a fairly big project. And as one of my goals is to have a media agency, this would have been an awesome way to start.

So yes, I was definitely disappointed.


This time, even though the “no” stung a bit, it hasn’t sent me reeling.

Because I KNOW that I’m doing what I’m meant to be doing. Seriosly, the response I’ve gotten over the last few days since starting out with the videos has been the BIGGEST response I’ve gotten ever before since starting my business.

And I KNOW that it’s completely and utterly deserved.

Yes, I’m still in the learning process. But I’ll tell you a little secret…

I believe that the skill I have for this, is a NATURAL talent. One that can’t be taught.

Of course I’ve got a lot to learn. I’ll never stop learning.

But I know I’m starting off way ahead of people who just learn this stuff. And that might sound arrogant to you, but it’s how I feel.

So I have no doubt in my mind that I’m still EXACTLY where I’m supposed to be and that this set back isn’t a reflection of my talent or ability to create epic promotional videos.

It was really the pitch that fucked me over.

And the reason?

Because I was in my head too much. I was thinking about it instead of acting from the heart. Which is basically against EVERYTHING I believe in.

But here’s the thing. I know where I went wrong now.

And do you think I’ll make the same mistake again?

Absolutely fucking not.

Will I start working for £50 quid?

Absolutely fucking not.

And for the record, I highly doubt that is what this person was looking for. I know she invests in herself and her business over and over again.

My offer simply wasn’t right.

And that’s on me.

But it doesn’t have to stay that way. Because I’m the creator of my OWN life.

And I CHOOSE to take responsibility for a mistake. I CHOOSE to learn from it. And I CHOOSE to look at this as an extremely positive outcome.

So next time you get a result that you don’t really want – think about what you can TAKE from that experience.

And then go do something with that knowledge.

When you’re doing exactly what you’re meant to do – you’ll get there no matter what. And the ONLY way you can waste time, is to stop taking action.

Everything else is a learning curve.





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